Pet sitting gives me the pet love I can’t get

Warning: This article contains references to suicide.

I am my friends’ pet-sitter.

Without a partner or owning a pet, a people-pleaser with an insatiable need to help.

So, when my friend Matilda asked me to babysit her cat for Christmas, I said yes without a second thought.

Why I don’t have my own pet

I’m not at a place in my life where I can adopt my own pet.

I am aware of the financial investment they need, especially in a cost-of-living crisis.

I live in a one-bedroom, third-floor apartment. Apart from the balcony, a pet has nowhere to go.

Add a physical disability that limits energy to the mix, and having my own pet seems like too much.

So short-term pet care, in my apartment or — if it’s accessible — the owner’s place, is the perfect alternative.

Matilda knows my accessibility needs. He wore a mask when he put Kevin down and made sure his bowls were somewhere I was unlikely to trip over, and his food was within easy reach.

Such accommodations are the least I deserve, but they are often rare and — as such — precious.

I’ve had a variety of pets before — at one point, three cats and a bearded dragon — but Matilda’s cat is my favorite.

Kevin is a ragdoll, with a thick, fluffy white coat and enchanting blue eyes. He’s not the type of cat that will sit on my lap or need to have one paw on me at all times. His love was less sensual, but no less strong.

Kevin is a lifeline

During the week of Kevin’s stay, his routine became mine, something consistent and reliable, when my body and mind were not.

There are many benefits of pet ownership for mental health, especially for people, like me, who live with mental illness. Perhaps the most obvious is the sense of companionship they provide.

For me, at the saddest time of the year, Kevin was a lifeline.

Kevin didn’t care that I walked with a limp, that my legs were cracking or that I slept nearly as much as he did.

All he wants is a clean litter, food and drink, chin scratches and toys, which I happily provide.

Even though my thoughts kept returning to the notion that the world would be better off without me, Kevin’s presence proved false. There’s no denying that his world is a better place because I’m with him.

His social courage inspired me

Pets can also be conducive to social connection.

Unlike me, Kevin was not afraid of unfamiliar people. When my uncle and cousin came to visit, he walked up to them, sniffing them curiously. Kevin started moaning as they picked him up.

His courage – though some might call it recklessness – inspired me.

I reached out to my friends when I needed to, sometimes just to send a photo or an anecdote about Kevin. They responded, with phone calls or messages or emojis, each an affirmation that I exist as part of a bright and beautiful constellation.