Mr. Anxiety or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Trust the Cat

Welcome to Wednesday Cats of Catster! Every week, we share a story from one of our cat-loving Catsters. This week is all about Wes and his fierce Russian Blue, Raphael.

Parents make mistakes all the time. When we are children, we assume they have all the answers. Then, as we grow up, we assume they don’t exist. Since becoming a cat parent, I’ve realized that dynamic isn’t exclusive to human relationships. Moving flats recently has taught me to be less anxious and less intense, and to trust Raphael will be okay in the end too.

I don’t think there is a single person in the world who actively enjoys moving. Now, not everyone feels negatively about the move; some are neutral. And most like the feeling of a new home, a new experience, but the move itself? It’s going to be a long search for someone who enjoys one of those. Well, if that’s how we feel, imagine how Raphael would feel.

Steph and I recently had to move apartments in London, and it was a very painful endeavour. I’ll leave out the extraneous details for now as this is meant to be a relaxed chat about cat life and not a rant about DIY. It’s safe to say, however, what was meant to be a fairly simple set of tasks turned into a nightmare. From paint to flooring and even electrical outlets, everything that can go wrong has found a way to do it inconveniently.

All of this is to say that by the time the move was “on,” after months of delay, we were thrown into a frenzy of stress and anxiety (certainly, moving companies have the most difficult customers in world?). As you can tell from our previous chats, Raphael is generally a very relaxed cat, but even he feels shared tension.

Of course, one thing that made the tension worse was my desire to make the process easier for Raphael.

Before the move, I read as much as I could on Catster.com about how to help Raphael move comfortably. In fact, in the run-up to the move, it was my main focus. Some of the things I consider are:

1. Taking her favorite blankets and spreading them around the new flat a few days in advance to send her scent into space.
2. Buying plug-in pheromone diffusers and allowing them to work a day early.
3. Gently wipes her face with a cloth and then rubs the cloth over the surfaces in the new space at ‘cat height.’

Bending over, brushing his sheets off our new floor, I had a moment of self-doubt. However, I silenced that voice and pressed on. On the day of the move itself, we continued our hard work:

1. We put him in his Hepper harness and a carrier, just in case something goes wrong.
2. We kept him in his safe space as long as we could, until the owner’s cleaners came to clean the space.
3. After moving in, we first isolated her usable space, while she relaxed into the new environment.

And these are just the items I feel comfortable sharing…

Now, I have to admit something at this stage. Steph felt I was too anxious. You’d be wrong if you were under the impression that he cared less about Raphael than I did, but he believed that as a reasonably adventurous cat, and a calm one at that, he would make the transition without a problem. However, I think the stress of the upcoming move has driven me into a state of anxiety, and this is my outlet.

I hate to say this, dear reader. I think he is right.

Once we freed him from his carrier-shaped cage and allowed him to explore, he had a whale of a time. He was super relaxed, exploring and sniffing to his heart’s content. Trotting this way, and cantering that way. Climbing here, and jumping there. Completely and utterly in his element. In fact, he was more anxious about being in a different room from us while the unpacking was going on. Prevented from the action, the team managers “opened” the most interesting part of the game.

With a raised eyebrow and a pucker of her lips, I knew what Steph was trying to tell me, without saying it outright.

Now, my answer is as quick as a flash. Prepared and professional. With a casual air, I retorted, “Well, of course, we don’t know the counterfactual. If I hadn’t bought those diffusers, I’m sure he would be in trouble right now.”

As I watched him roll on the floor with his toy, did I believe my own words? I don’t want to comment…

What I do know is this: it taught me that Raphael is far more capable, comfortable, and efficient than I give him credit for. He’s always rolled with the punches before, and this was no exception. I think he became an outlet for my own anxieties, and that was a mistake. Did my efforts help make him feel comfortable? I’m sure they did, and do I regret trying? Definitely not. However, in the future, I will trust our calm companion more.

To make me feel better, please tell me about a time you moved with a pet and felt overwhelmed!