In our family, I’m the crazy fisherman, while my wife Elaine is on the other end of the spectrum. A former nurse, she is a real person and not a crazy angler.
Opposites attract, which worked for us, but issues of perception and communication about fishing are still being worked on. Elaine was always supportive, but sometimes she would ask me difficult fishing questions that I couldn’t quite answer.
Here’s a recent example:
It all started when I decided to cancel a fishing trip I had planned for over a week. Elaine wondered why I was staying at home, and I told her that after carefully evaluating all the factors – it was best to stay home.
There was a full moon, little wind and the water was stained with rain — better to wait a few days.
He agreed, and that was it, or so I thought.
I usually try to let her know what I’m doing so she feels comfortable that I’m on the trip.
However in this case, I might as well build up some positive points in my honey-do tank by not going.
But I overdid it.
The day before I canceled my trip, the forecast improved.
And then my friend Mike called to tell me that he and the others had just gotten out of the water and they were doing fine!
“Roger, you have to come tomorrow,” he said.
Oops, I did a really good job of explaining why I shouldn’t go, which I couldn’t.
Thinking, thinking, thinking about what to do.
Should I eat crow and try to give Elaine a reason why my plans changed?
I finally decided that the direct approach was best- with a few key changes.
“Elaine, I know I told you I wouldn’t be fishing tomorrow — but the wind forecast has changed, and my friend Mike has been very good today. He said I have to go!”
She’s looking at me sideways and says, “but the full moon that you said is bad for fishing still doesn’t change?
“Ouch!” The one point I hope he won’t remember – and that’s it! “Yes Hon, good point, but once in a while it’s good. Mike doesn’t seem to think the moon is a big deal this time,” I said.
After a short pause, my dear husband said to me: “I know, you have all these fancy excuses, but the point is you just want to fish tomorrow good, bad or otherwise, right?”
Hey, too close to home.
I surrendered, hoping for mercy and fell into silence.
He tells me to go anyway.
I’m trying to act calm but I’m doing handstands inside.
And I thank God for an understanding husband.
Tomorrow, I will go home. Tired, I entered the door when he suddenly asked about fishing.
I know a trap when I hear one, so I told him I did very well and it was a good day.
“So why didn’t you think it would be good, the first time you canceled, since you’re a so-called expert?” he asked.
I never thought he would ask that.
I sputtered out a few weak answers before admitting defeat.
Later I realized that if I had done something wrong he would have rightly noted that I had not followed my own advice. Yes, I managed myself well.
It’s hard to get intellectually body slammed, but he always sees through my made-up excuses because he’s been with an obsessed fisherman for so long.
Don’t get me wrong – she is my cheerleader, too. But it’s funny how similar conversations happen in other fishing households, too.
I found that in the end everything seemed to work.
As long as people keep talking and don’t give up.
Roger George: [email protected], rogergeorgeguideservice on Facebook and @StriperWars.
