There are many general lists from cat experts and veterinarians about things you should not do to your cat. But I want to be specific here, and address something that has a direct impact on your relationship with your cat: your physical interactions.
Physical contact with your cat is your most direct form of communication, and the one that sticks most strongly in your cat’s memory. So what you do (or don’t do) will inform your cat’s opinion of you, and the way they perceive you. The way you handle your cat, and your intent, will create a close and loving bond…or it may cause your cat to avoid you. It can even traumatize your cat.
I know if you’re here, you want what’s best for your cat, and you want a happy and healthy companionship for them. So avoid the following:
1. Never force yourself on your cat
Cats are tactile creatures who love affection — on their own terms. You may want to hug your cute kitten, but this shocks most cats, and they feel out of control. You’ll have better success in gaining your cat’s trust and affection when you let them set the pace with petting and cuddling. Watch for subtle cues that they prefer, such as headbutting, and a penchant for petting. And when you get the cues that they’ve had enough — you’ll feel them stiffen or vibrate — please let go. Less is more, and your cat will appreciate that.
2. Never play with a cat with your hands
Men are more likely to be guilty of this faux pas, but it has female aficionados. Either way, this is wrong because it teaches your kitten or cat that your hand and arm are toys to be cut if you want. And once they get used to it, it’s hard to break it. So don’t even start. Instead of letting your cat chew or scratch your appendages, give them catnip stuffed toys to attack on their own when they’re feeling that kind of naughty.
3. Never throw your cat on the counter, or any other prohibited surface
Always remember, you are at least 10 times the size of your cat. You’re a giant who can do a lot of physical damage to them without much effort — and they don’t forget that. So even if your cat jumps on that forbidden surface for the umpteenth time, don’t throw it away like a used rag. At the very least, they’ll make you look at you as a threat. At worst, you can physically harm them. Suck it up and be gentle. And if you really need that counter to be cat free, put them in another room and close the door.
4. Never carry your cat around with their legs hanging off their back
This is extremely uncomfortable for your cat, and they will not want to be touched by you. Always carry your cat with their back fully supported, or by draping them across your arms and holding them tightly to your body, like a football. The last one was how my human used to carry me to the rings when I was competing in cat shows.
5. Never use your hands to punish a cat
I shouldn’t have said this. Research has proven that corporal punishment is bad for children, and it’s bad for cats too. As I mentioned earlier, you are much, much bigger than your cat, and it’s scary to have something that big get their hands on you. Even if you think you’re just patting them lightly on the back or on the nose, your cat doesn’t see it that way. They see someone who threatens them, someone they don’t want to be around. It can turn them into anti-social, neurotic, and unloving creatures. This can cause long-term damage that is difficult to undo.
Cats don’t understand right and wrong like humans do. They just understand that some things they do, people think are okay. And another thing they do is turn people into scary monsters. That’s just basic. Punishment is the worst and most ineffective way to change a cat’s behavior. Encouraging opportunities for good behavior, and making bad behavior more difficult to do will have better results.
I hope you are not doing any of these things! Or if you have in the past, you know better. But please spread the word because there are a lot of people out there who don’t know about them! If you have any stories, good or bad, about handling cats, let me know in the comments.
Here’s more information to help you get to know your cat better:
