If there’s one aspect of cat behavior that’s totally misunderstood, it’s when your cat turns away from you. People mistake this as a sign of aloofness. Some people even think it means their cat is mad at them! (In fact, there’s a term for this: “behind the disrespect.”) But nothing could be further from the truth. And if you have any basic understanding of cats, you’ll get it once I explain it to you.
A cat will face you away because they love and trust you!
As both predator and prey, and a very territorial creature, cats always want to know what’s going on around them. And as a creature larger than your cat, you can be a potential threat to their safety. Your cat wants nothing more than to feel safe in their home, and to know that the large creatures that live with them are kind and good. When your cat sits a few feet away and turns away from you, it’s a sign that he feels safe, and that he trusts you. You wouldn’t turn your back on an enemy, would you? Be your cat.
When your cat turns its back on you, they consider you a family member, and a protector. Someone to watch over them. And they are satisfied.
If you do something that upsets your cat, they won’t turn their backs on you. Instead, they can stay on the far side of the room, watching your every move. That’s because they’ve lost their trust in you, at least temporarily, and want to make sure you’re not going to bother them or do something scary.
But what if your cat looks really annoyed, facing away from you with their ears slightly flat, and wagging the tip of their tail? Okay, they might be a little annoyed with you for something, but they still trust you enough to not have to deal with you. As long as you leave them alone and don’t repeat the behavior that made them angry, they will relax and everything will be back to normal in no time.
The same goes when you are in bed and your cat is lying on top of you. If they have their backs to you, they are comfortable and content, and they show it. So if your cat isn’t facing you and is confined, don’t feel bad. They do love you, and the fact that they make themselves comfortable with you shows it.
Incidentally, when I spend time with an inpatient as a therapy cat, I tend to stay away from them! My person knows that the patient would prefer to see my face, so he often turns me around. And he always explained that if I stayed away, it meant that I trusted that they wouldn’t hurt me. But honestly, I like the far-facing position the most. Just don’t tell my patients!
Does your cat want to spend time with you, just with your back? Let’s talk about it in the comments!
Here are some of my other pro modeling sessions:
